Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize
