.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
