Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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