how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
