no you cant smoke seaweed
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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