I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
