I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
