Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Randomize
