Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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