and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
