oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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