I want to make a zoo with you.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
