doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
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