margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
