Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize