looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Randomize
