Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
