I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
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