When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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