so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
