you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
