Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
