Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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