a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
