I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
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