Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize