we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
