Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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