I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
