I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
