Soap is not a condiment
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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