i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
