You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
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