Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
soo... how was my night?
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
