you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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