There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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