Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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