im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
