"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
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