You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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