this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
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