So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize