there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
