OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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