I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I think I gave a random lady a dildo