So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"