lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
These 23 Kids Have The Most Overbearing Parents Imaginable
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.