that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.