1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
23 People Reveal The Worst Culture Shock They’ve Ever Experienced While Traveling
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out