I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
