I'm drive I can fine osifer
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Randomize
