so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Randomize
