TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
