it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
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