You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
