My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
