yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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