we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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