if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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