Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
