meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Dignity is for republicans.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Randomize
